George Carlin, “The Planet Is Fine”

Welcome to the Gospel of Reason.

Perhaps you might also be interested in other posts, such as:

God said Pi=3; Stand By Your Beliefs Dammit!

Blasphemy Is A Victimless Crime

So, Nothing Happens When You Die?

The Case Against Religious Education

Babies Are Born Atheists

Enjoy George Carlin!

And I quote without any kind of express permission:

We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the fucking planet?

I’m getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I’m tired of fucking Earth Day, I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. They don’t care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin’ around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles…hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages…And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet…the planet…the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!

We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet’s doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet’s doing. You wanna know if the planet’s all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?” Plastic…asshole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that’s begun. Don’t you think that’s already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let’s see… Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh…viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that’s a poetic note. And it’s a start. And I can dream, can’t I? See I don’t worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron…whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.

55 Responses

  1. Well, technically he is right. The planet WILL be here after we are dead. We aren’t destroying the planet…just our own habitat and means to live….so in that he is right as well that we are going to be “phased out” because our means of survivla (clean air, food to eat) is going to be gone.

  2. It’s like the big Mother Electron was talking directly to me. I like the way he thinks,he’s so profound. Mother earth is tough and mighty. We have to become strong, tough, mighty and pure like our Mother!

    Thanks George…

  3. Wonder if George ‘the arsehole’ Carlin has kids of his own. What a twat he is. Of course the planet looks after itself. It has a whole recycling system via volcanoes & tectonic plates and pumping used plastic down into a faultline would probbaly make sense.

    What people value, which Carlin obviously doesn’t (whoever he is) is human life and the incredible beauty that comes from nature (as well as it’s services!).

  4. Carlin is a comedian, often hailed as one of the best of his time. This was in his ‘Jammin in New York’ show, which was alright.

    Personally, I would recommend ‘You Are All Diseased’ if you are interested in getting word about Carlin from the man himself. It’s on Youtube/Google Video somewhere.

  5. This is what I have been saying for aeons. Don’t take everything in this too seriously, though. It is a comedian’s monologue, and these things tend to exaggerate one’s true feelings, and the truth.

  6. One cannot help but understand the general gist of the message against self-importance, however.

    Saying ‘humans are the biggest danger to the planet’ is like ‘we are all part of God’s plan’.

  7. [...] below the fold (h/t Gospel Of Reason) We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save [...]

  8. The ‘Save the Earth’ propaganda is simply done in order to move people. To get people to listen or to act. The real worry is not that we are going to slowly and systematically destroy the Earth. The worry is that we will modify the environment in a way that it will now longer be appropriate to support human life in mass. Especially considering the rate it is growing.

    ‘Save the Earth’ is really just ‘Save Ourselves’. It’s just the ad campaign slogan they chose over the real thing is simply more touching.

  9. [...] the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, Why are we here? Plasticasshole. George Carlin – The Planet Is Fine __________________ This post breaks my 2 principles of "a fuck" and "not [...]

  10. [...] When I was in high school, I managed to catch one of George Carlin’s many comedy specials on HBO, on one of those weekends where they unscrambled the channel to taunt us with unedited movies with swear words and the possibility of nudity.  Near the end of the show, Carlin did a great bit about how, despite all the awful things we do to it, the planet is fine. [...]

  11. “Saying ‘humans are the biggest danger to the planet’ is like ‘we are all part of God’s plan’.”

    No, it’s very different. God has no plan, because he does not exist and humans are the ones threatening the ozone, nuking each other and exploiting the planet’s resources.

  12. I saw a ‘Save the Earth’ bumpersticker on a Lexus SUV
    that was picking up their 3 children at daycare.Hmmm…

  13. Of course, Carlin is right. We are all going to perish, just as hundreds of thousands of species have before us. We’ll probably take the mammals with us, so that the bugs will inherit the earth. Or maybe we will blast earth back to the days when bacterias and other microbes ruled the planet.
    We are already exterminating species at the rate of hundreds a day. We’re using up, polluting or tampering with every resource that supports human life – air, fresh water, land, the sea, the ozone, and indeed, the climate. Yes, the earth will survive – the real issue is, will we survive for, say, another 20,000 years? Or will our childrens’ children be faced with extinction? “Save Ourselves from Ourselves,” might be a more apt slogan.

  14. [...] another favorite of mine. Posted by August Filed in [...]

  15. [...] It also brings to mind a comedy sketch I saw by George Carlin when he said something like: “The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles…hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages…And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet…the planet…the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!” Here is the whole thing, but in typical Carlin fashion, it includes a lot of profanity. [...]

  16. [...] [...]

  17. The great Mother will shrug us off like vermin.The question is when.

  18. [...] regardless of environmental concern. It’s simply more on the lines of Feng Shui to me. My opinion about environmental concern is the same as George Carlin’s. If you read up on that, I’d assume by your mentality, you’d agree. __________________ You [...]

  19. LOL AWESOME! Someone posted the link to this on Facebook and I thought I’d read it. I love it. haha AMEN AMEN AMEN…I HATE environmentalists tree huggers and people who rant and rave about global warming and all that crap. What a load of bull.

  20. carlin is great

  21. [...] The concrete, as far as the tree is concerned, is only a slight annoyance.  I tend to agree with George Carlin’s philosophy about the state of the planet which is, “The planet is fine.” “Besides, there is [...]

  22. gosh! he is the best comedian ever! i like the way he talks about the hypocritical of people…

  23. some of these comments shouldnt be on here carlin was a great guy he spoke the truth and the truth hurts so get over it

  24. All I want is for us to have the chance to stick around a little longer, if that’s even a possability. I love life, but ours is a linear one. limited. So make the best of it, and do what we can to allow the ones just starting out a chance to enjoy it too! That’s not too much to ask..

  25. Why are we here ? … PLASTIC… ASSHOLE !!!…

    I remember watching that, probably on HBO, years back.. and I’ve probably used that line about 20 times since then…

    Earth day is not about saving the planet… it’s about saving humanity… like Carlin said “The planet is fine, the planet isn’t going anywhere, but we are”…

    should be a national holiday… remove Christmas, Easter, take your pick… make people more aware… nothing wrong with a cleaner planet…

    and when you have a choice between “cleaner” or “dirtier”… would anybody really chose “dirtier”… believe it or not… some would !!!

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8639769.stm

  26. [...] Perhaps George Carlin was right when he said “The Planet Is Fine“: [...]

  27. [...] George Carlin, “The Planet Is Fine” [...]

  28. George Carlin cared deeply about the environment, people who don’t even like or know George Carlin always seem to be the ones who use this routine, (which, by the way, is just fucking awesome) to say, “See! GC didn’t buy into that environment crap!” When, in reality, this great routine was talking more about the arrogance of people when it comes to environmentalism. Our motto should be “Save Ourselves!” because, like GC said, the planet will be fine and cleanse itself long after we are gone.

    For anyone that thinks GC didn’t care about the environment, here’s what he said about the California fires in 2007:
    “People are selfish,” he said. “These people with the fires and the floods and everything, they overbuild and they put nature to the test, and they get what’s coming to them, that’s what I say.”

    Joy Behar replied, “That’s a little harsh, George.”

    But the 70-year-old comic continued: “People think nature is outside of them. They don’t take into [themselves] the idea that nature is a part of them.” Pointing to his chest, he said, “Nature is in here, and if you’re in tune with it, like the Indians – the balance of life, the harmony of nature – if you understand that, you don’t overbuild, you don’t do all this moron stuff.”

    GO GEORGE CARLIN!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. George Carlin cared a lot about the environment, people who don’t even like or know George Carlin always seem to be the ones who use this routine, (which, by the way, is just fucking awesome) to say, “See! GC didn’t buy into that environment crap!” When, in reality, this great routine was talking more about the arrogance of people when it comes to environmentalism. Our motto should be “Save Ourselves!” because, like GC said, the planet will be fine and cleanse itself long after we are gone.

    For anyone that thinks GC didn’t care about the environment, here’s what he said about the California fires in 2007:
    “People are selfish,” he said. “These people with the fires and the floods and everything, they overbuild and they put nature to the test, and they get what’s coming to them, that’s what I say.”

    Joy Behar replied, “That’s a little harsh, George.”

    But the 70-year-old comic continued: “People think nature is outside of them. They don’t take into [themselves] the idea that nature is a part of them.” Pointing to his chest, he said, “Nature is in here, and if you’re in tune with it, like the Indians – the balance of life, the harmony of nature – if you understand that, you don’t overbuild, you don’t do all this moron stuff.”

    GO GEORGE CARLIN!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Carlin was simply not telling the truth when he said 25 species a day will go extinct regardless of what people do. I never understood how they come up with those figures, regardless. Are they minuscule insect species hidden deep in rainforests?

    The whole bit is out of context with what Carlin has said about nature on other occasions. Too fatalistic, and too easily interpreted by nature-hating Dittoheads as a free-ride to do whatever we like to nature, since “the planet can take it.” Conservatives have used that video as a way to debunk global warming. The planet is fine – let it warm!

    Carlin should have made clear the difference between destroying the QUALITY of life on Earth and destroying the ENTIRE Earth. Nobody is claiming Man can do the latter, but we sure are doing the former, with the BP oil spill being a clear example.

    All in all, this was one of Carlin’s lowest moments. I can see part of his point but he made it the wrong way, especially when he claimed that environmentalists don’t give a —- about nature. He didn’t specify which ones, implying that most environmentalists are rich and looking for seclusion in their own perfect spot vs. preserving nature as a whole. That’s just plain false.

  31. “What people value, which Carlin obviously doesn’t (whoever he is) is human life and the incredible beauty that comes from nature (as well as it’s services!).”

    you do know that man is responsible for killing a third of mankind.yes..1/3rd of all the population in recorded history were killed by men….and that nature is as brutal as it is “pretty”..watch a male lion move into a pride and eat the cubs so it can make its seed pass faster…are you tim treadwell’s ghost?.and you said nature “services” thats the point retard…nature does not serve you or anyone species..its nature…you are lucky if you can serve in it…or very unlucky

  32. He is so right! My firend was like “what about all the polar bears and plastic in the ocean killing fishes and turtles?!” I was like “maybe they’ll mutate and adapt or go extinct cause maybe the earth made plastic to get rid of em and make newer species!” i totally quoted George Carlin to explain

  33. [...] Save the planet. What? Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the fucking planet? - George Carlin [...]

  34. [...] vocabulary as ours weakens. (If the part about the planet surviving is not perfectly clear, see George Carlin’s thoughts on the subject- “The planet is fine”- thanks [...]

  35. The Pattern

    by Ron Pavellas

    Man’s linear patterns traverse the earth and air and sea,
    Dominating, we feel, with both pride and regret,
    The teeming chaos of Nature’s other messengers.

    Quiet reflection reveals that in a sometime Earth moment,
    The creeks, the mud, the grasses,
    The spider and deer and coyote,
    Will overtake our man-patterns,
    As we relentlessly focus on the ever smaller and more numerous things
    We think we can control for our seeming advantage.

    As reason first graced then afflicted man,
    He began to shape the vortex he will be sucked into:
    A whirlwind of expanding data and diminishing knowledge
    Of The Whole
    That grows ever larger and more detailed in man’s eyes.

    Hark to the wise of past and present:
    Simplify, accept, flow gently or tumultuously,
    And rejoin Chaos with Nature’s other lives
    To find The Pattern that underlies all,
    And which cannot be named.

  36. [...] [...]

  37. [...] George Carlin “The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin’ around the sun? [...]

  38. I think Carlin bothered to read this comments (from beyond the grave) he’d say, “Fuck all of you.”

  39. Concrete and steel structures, soluble and insoluble chemical mixtures, toxic gases, synthesized plastic polymers, fused metals and forged composites developed by our species are natural; a direct result of the manipulation of earthly elements for the purpose of serving a human culture. Technology has been designed by humans to serve human want. Most human constructs do not serve the bat or the ocelot or the elephant, nor would we expect them to. Perhaps, at some distant point in the future, human awareness will have matured beyond the hubris that has us mired in the idea that above all other species, we are the chosen. At that time, humans may well embrace the idea that God has given identity equally to all species and that survivability is a function of how well we can adapt to one another, living as we do under the same set of natural laws.

  40. Never heard anything so stupid: “We are going away anyway, so let’s take with us everything and as much as possible. Let’s kill anymals, destroy soil, contaminate water… Who cares?! Anyway, we are going to die. We do not need the environmental bullshit. We just want to consume. Just more and more. Anyway, we are going to die, the Earth will kill us. ” – I cannot beleive that there are people who sign under this. Well, I hope you will enjoy drinking urinated water, sweem in the ocean of plastics and eat radioactive shit. Good luck to all of you, who thinks that Carlin is right. Well, he may say whatever he wants – he is just a stupid cloun. But those who SERIUOSLY support him are just lazy brainless who just found a suitable excuse not to sacrify even a pinch of their comfort – “I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists”. OK, let’s do nothing! Like that your “Big Electron” will get rid of us faster… The article from the series – only in America! Egoistic, primitive and arrogant.

  41. mysite…

    [...]George Carlin, “The Planet Is Fine” « Gospel of Reason[...]…

  42. I find it both incredibly funny and terribly sad to see the number of people who just don’t get this. Did an army of English class drop-outs watch this vid or something?
    GC isn’t saying you shouldn’t care about the environment! Far from it! He is saying that you should take care of the environment because you are APART of it. Not because it’s trendy and not because your some egotistical asshole who is only doing it for the immediate benefits. You should be looking at the “Save the Earth” campaign as a “Save the Human Race” project. The point he is trying to make (and for some reason all these fucking idiots are not getting) is this: whether or not you take care of the environment the Earth will be fine. Eventually it will shake off all the garbage and crap that we have done to it and, because it is a system, it will renew itself. Humans, though, will die off due to our own consumption, and shortsighted goals.
    The Earth is doing fine. People, on the other hand, are fucked.

  43. [...] nem találtam még, de aki ért egy picit angolul, nyugodtan nézze végig. (Egy kis segítség: leirat a Gospel of Reason oldalról, a videóban [...]

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  45. That was the unfunniest comedy routine I ever heard. He was not funny. People might have applauded in agreement, but for a so-called comedian, nobody was laughing at comical statements. Plus, people have fucked the environment and he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

  46. [...] George Carlin explained, ”there is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. [...]

  47. OPEN YOUR MIND!!! i believe he knows what he is talking about, people are f–ked and the planet is fine, LOOK at people now days example the Trayvon Martin murder, look at the politics (the rich are getting richer and poor are getting poorer) Best of all LOOK at 9-11 if that don’t tell us something then what did his explanation mean? people that live the way they live and do the bad things they are doing is screwing PEOPLE up not the planet because it can cleanse itself!!! we can take a bath but is that going to take away someone’s cancer or heart disease? No

  48. Why do we think we are so special? Who said that humans were supposed to last forever? Nothing lasts forever, so, really, all you whiners going on about how we’re destroying our environment need to shut up and grow a pair.

    If you really care about your habitat, saving the planet so that it is fit for human survival do the following: Get off the computer. Get rid of all your modern conveniences. Grow your own food. Walk everywhere. Basically, live like a pre-modern era primitive. If you did that, half of you would die anyway because you don’t know how to survive in the true sense of the word.

  49. Joe you must be one of those English drop outs Fiona was referring to. Taking care of the environment that supports human life is common sense, unless of course you don’t like clean air, water and food.

    “…shut up and grow a pair”?? Only the simple minded think their choices are either/or

    It’s because of idiots like you that humanity has no chance of averting the inevitable catastrophe of global warming, ocean acidification and population overshoot.

  50. Ya! Lets save our selves! And let’s be greedy and selfish and not save any other species! Who hoo! This is foxdung, I HATE ELECTRONICS, EVEN IF I AM ON ONE RIGHT NOW I rather prefer we all die! I think it’s a curse that I am a stupid human beeing! Why save our selves, well to bad if you can’t survive on your own in the wild, all we care about is our own speises, why care we literally overpopulated the earth, and all humans care is reproduction, and sadly I live in Las Vegas and it’s every where. I’m not saying I am going to murder people but there are just to many of us! Go ahed, say my family should die first, but now I am starting to wish that the world would end! I’m tierd of everything suffering WE ARE NOT! I literally exploded with anger when I read this, and this is sad, I cried at the same time u people don’t care about anything else but this species, the human beeing, which only cares about round metal coins and rectangle paper, and kills for pleasure, and just saying, WE ARE ANIMALS! and the worst animals ever!
    Go ahead, say mean comments about mine, I don’t care! I don’t care any more ! Say what you want but I DON’T CARE WHAT MEAN THINGS YOU WILL SAY!

  51. It’s an remarkable article in support of all the internet users; they will obtain benefit from it I am sure.

  52. This is very philosophical (= meaningless). The planet doesn’t “care” about anything. It is only material. Environmentalists don’t really care about the planet, this is just a language problem. They care about the life as it is around us, they want to preserve our specie and the species around us from the changes that we are causing. There are a lot of species that also took thousands of years to evolve to their current state and that are going to disappear in just a few decades because of us. You can say that you don’t care about humans creating a cataclysm and destroying life. Of course the earth will not care, it is only a planet, it is only rocks. It will not even care about the end of all life. Continue in this direction and you can conclude that you should care about absolutely nothing, which is a paradigm people usually discover when they are about 14 and then dismiss it if they are smart enough. With the same conclusion, you could as well not care about the environmentalists themselves that seem to make you so angry. Why do you care about them ? I think people who are angry at environmentalists are just tired of hearing about them all the time. Or they hate that it is in to be environmentalist. What you care about is how much you hear about them on TV, or how they speak, or how mainstream they are, not the real things that are at stake. People like you only worry about their small comfort zone and their TV program.

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  54. […] it exists and that b. it requires immediate changes from all of us, otherwise like the wise man George Carlin  quoted, “The planet isn’t going anywhere. We are! … The planet’ll shake us off like a bad […]

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