And I quote without any kind of express permission:
We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the fucking planet?
I’m getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I’m tired of fucking Earth Day, I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. They don’t care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin’ around the sun?
The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles…hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages…And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet…the planet…the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!
We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.
You wanna know how the planet’s doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet’s doing. You wanna know if the planet’s all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.
The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?” Plastic…asshole.
So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that’s begun. Don’t you think that’s already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let’s see… Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh…viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.
Well, that’s a poetic note. And it’s a start. And I can dream, can’t I? See I don’t worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron…whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.
Well, technically he is right. The planet WILL be here after we are dead. We aren’t destroying the planet…just our own habitat and means to live….so in that he is right as well that we are going to be “phased out” because our means of survivla (clean air, food to eat) is going to be gone.
It’s like the big Mother Electron was talking directly to me. I like the way he thinks,he’s so profound. Mother earth is tough and mighty. We have to become strong, tough, mighty and pure like our Mother!
Thanks George…
Wonder if George ‘the arsehole’ Carlin has kids of his own. What a twat he is. Of course the planet looks after itself. It has a whole recycling system via volcanoes & tectonic plates and pumping used plastic down into a faultline would probbaly make sense.
What people value, which Carlin obviously doesn’t (whoever he is) is human life and the incredible beauty that comes from nature (as well as it’s services!).
Carlin is a comedian, often hailed as one of the best of his time. This was in his ‘Jammin in New York’ show, which was alright.
Personally, I would recommend ‘You Are All Diseased’ if you are interested in getting word about Carlin from the man himself. It’s on Youtube/Google Video somewhere.
This is what I have been saying for aeons. Don’t take everything in this too seriously, though. It is a comedian’s monologue, and these things tend to exaggerate one’s true feelings, and the truth.
One cannot help but understand the general gist of the message against self-importance, however.
Saying ‘humans are the biggest danger to the planet’ is like ‘we are all part of God’s plan’.
[...] below the fold (h/t Gospel Of Reason) We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save [...]
The ‘Save the Earth’ propaganda is simply done in order to move people. To get people to listen or to act. The real worry is not that we are going to slowly and systematically destroy the Earth. The worry is that we will modify the environment in a way that it will now longer be appropriate to support human life in mass. Especially considering the rate it is growing.
‘Save the Earth’ is really just ‘Save Ourselves’. It’s just the ad campaign slogan they chose over the real thing is simply more touching.
[...] the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?” Plastic…asshole. George Carlin – The Planet Is Fine __________________ This post breaks my 2 principles of "a fuck" and "not [...]
[...] When I was in high school, I managed to catch one of George Carlin’s many comedy specials on HBO, on one of those weekends where they unscrambled the channel to taunt us with unedited movies with swear words and the possibility of nudity. Near the end of the show, Carlin did a great bit about how, despite all the awful things we do to it, the planet is fine. [...]
“Saying ‘humans are the biggest danger to the planet’ is like ‘we are all part of God’s plan’.”
No, it’s very different. God has no plan, because he does not exist and humans are the ones threatening the ozone, nuking each other and exploiting the planet’s resources.
I saw a ‘Save the Earth’ bumpersticker on a Lexus SUV
that was picking up their 3 children at daycare.Hmmm…
Of course, Carlin is right. We are all going to perish, just as hundreds of thousands of species have before us. We’ll probably take the mammals with us, so that the bugs will inherit the earth. Or maybe we will blast earth back to the days when bacterias and other microbes ruled the planet.
We are already exterminating species at the rate of hundreds a day. We’re using up, polluting or tampering with every resource that supports human life – air, fresh water, land, the sea, the ozone, and indeed, the climate. Yes, the earth will survive – the real issue is, will we survive for, say, another 20,000 years? Or will our childrens’ children be faced with extinction? “Save Ourselves from Ourselves,” might be a more apt slogan.
[...] another favorite of mine. Posted by August Filed in [...]
[...] It also brings to mind a comedy sketch I saw by George Carlin when he said something like: “The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles…hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages…And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet…the planet…the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!” Here is the whole thing, but in typical Carlin fashion, it includes a lot of profanity. [...]
[...] [...]
The great Mother will shrug us off like vermin.The question is when.
[...] regardless of environmental concern. It’s simply more on the lines of Feng Shui to me. My opinion about environmental concern is the same as George Carlin’s. If you read up on that, I’d assume by your mentality, you’d agree. __________________ You [...]
LOL AWESOME! Someone posted the link to this on Facebook and I thought I’d read it. I love it. haha AMEN AMEN AMEN…I HATE environmentalists tree huggers and people who rant and rave about global warming and all that crap. What a load of bull.
carlin is great
[...] The concrete, as far as the tree is concerned, is only a slight annoyance. I tend to agree with George Carlin’s philosophy about the state of the planet which is, “The planet is fine.” “Besides, there is [...]
gosh! he is the best comedian ever! i like the way he talks about the hypocritical of people…