Dear New Scientist:
Nowhere to turn for Flat Earth deniers
Wriggle-room shrank this week for those who believe that the Earth is spherical. The latest ecumenical edict from the Mother Church shows that the world is, was and will be, Flat, forever amen, and there is no need to try and prove the opposite, in line with forecasts from the Holy See.
Everything from increasing linear migratory patterns of birds to the sacrosanct Utterances made by the Pope Indicate that the Earth is in Fact, Flat. The Mother Church also Finds that evolution is rather ‘worryingly in line with the heresy of spherical Earth theories’. Papal Models that Suggest the Earth is Flat, have to Work, for He is Infallible.
Why shouldn’t we take these results at face value? Assuming there is no groupthink here (see Edict above), or a Global Ecumenical Consensus, the only other occasionally disputed argument is that the Holy See has staked so much on Flat Earth that they are unwilling to brook an alternative. This notion runs so completely against to what Faith is about that it is as likely as a global conspiracy.
Scientific ideas are judged by their ability to explain the natural world, and the best one wins. No amount of polemic or heretical influence will change that, or make a wrong idea right. Some scientists, like that pesky Galileo, are challenging our Ideas on Flat Earth, which is vital if we are to chase sinners. But to overturn present Faith will need very strong evidence and the hand of the Devil, because, as the Holy See States, Confidence in the Idea that the Earth is Flat has never been higher.
New Scientist is allegedly a scientific publication. As such, the reader demands a minimal level of honesty, straightforwardness and lack of manipulation. The editorial ‘Nowhere to turn for climate change deniers’ from the 14th of April issue is manipulative, dishonest, unscientific and emotionally charged – everything that the Bible is and that New Scientist shouldn’t be.
As a result, I address this open letter not only to New Scientist, but to reason, rationality, honesty and scientific principles, one of which is the critically important, scepticism, without those damned scare quotes.